by Nomi Berger
 
Have you ever been in the position of finding a litter of kittens and wondering what to do next? To keep or not to keep, that is the question.
 
Here, then, are some answers -- together with more questions.
 
1. If you find a litter of kittens on or near your property, quickly assess their health. If they appear healthy, watch them, but don’t move them. Their mother is likely nearby. Stay far enough away – several car lengths – that you’re not considered a threat by their mother if she’s feral. If, however, the kittens seem distressed or are very vocal, and if their mother hasn’t returned by the end of the day, she may NOT be returning.
 
2. Unless they're in danger, however, it's best to give their missing mother another chance to return and tend to them. Place them in a carrier or cardboard carton to keep them warm, safe and secure.
 
3. Try to determine the age of the kittens. Are they newborns with their eyes closed and weighing less than 8 ounces? Or are they 8 weeks old, weighing 2 pounds, and resembling miniature cats? Not to mention every age and weight in between. Each age brings with it a different set of criteria as to their proper maintenance and care. If they’re newborns, contact local rescue groups or no-kill shelters ONLY that may be willing to take them in immediately.
 
4. Are they feral (part of a colony of cats born to live and survive outdoors) or domestic kittens born to a family’s lost companion cat? Once again, this will determine the steps you take next.
 
5. If it’s either too hot or too cold outside, raining or snowing, bring the kittens indoors and confine them to a clean, quiet and small room -- whether a spare bedroom, bathroom or laundry room. Leave them in their carton or carrier with the door open, and provide them with a high-quality kibble, fresh water and cat litter.  If the kittens are too young to feed themselves, you’ll need to bottle feed them every couple of hours. Should you choose this course, either contact a local vet or rescue group for advice and guidance.
 
6. Within a few days, decide whether you want to temporarily foster them, bearing in mind that socializing them as quickly as possible will improve their chances of ultimately being adopted.
 
7. Although adorable and impossible to resist, kittens do have little claws and sharp teeth. To protect yourself from unnecessary “battle scars”, wear gloves until the kittens grow comfortable with being handled.
 
8. If you have other pets, keep them separated from the kittens to minimize the risk of their transmitting either parasites or infections to them.
 
9. To make fostering the kittens easier, speak with the volunteers at the rescue group you’ve already contacted and ask for their advice – on all matters from A to Z.
 
10. When it’s time for the kittens to “leave the nest”, either contact your vet, one who operates a re-homing center that will welcome yours if there’s room, or the rescue group. Relinquish the kittens into their care where they’ll be spay/neutered, then set on the right path towards finding their fur-ever homes.
 
By your actions, compassionate and caring, you’ll have not only saved several small lives, but you’ll have shared in an extraordinary experience, one you’re unlikely to ever forget.

by Nomi Berger
 
Have you thought of adding some new and different resolutions to your traditional New Year’s list?
 
Have you ever thought about getting involved in the world of cat rescue, but didn’t quite know how?
 
Here then, are twelve different ways – one for each month – for you to resolve to make a difference in the lives of rescue kittens and cats this year. Even if you choose only one, that choice will make all the difference in the world to them.
 
1. Contact a local cat rescue and ask to volunteer for them. Since volunteers form the backbone of every nonprofit organization, no group can function successfully without them, and there are many ways (it varies from rescue to rescue) to help out.
 
2. Refer ONE feline-loving friend to the same rescue to volunteer alongside you.
 
3. Click onto their web site and make a monetary contribution to them online either as a onetime payment or as recurring monthly payments.
 
4. Purchase and donate items to them from the “wish lists” featured on their site such as Amazon and Chewy.
 
5. Follow their Face Book page, “like” them, “comment” and “share” their postings on a daily basis, and vote for them in every online competition.
 
6. Respond with donations to as many pleas for funds as possible – from one kitty’s medical needs to GoFundMe appeals.
 
7. Instead of accepting birthday gifts this year, ask your family and friends to make contributions to the rescue in your name.
 
8. Host a small fundraiser (bake sales, garage sales and yard sales are among the most popular) and donate the proceeds to them. You will receive not only their gratitude, but a tax receipt as well.
 
9. Sign petitions calling on your city to ban the sale of cats in all pet stores unless they’re from animal shelters, rescue groups or people surrendering them for free.
 
10. Sponsor a kitty.
 
11. Foster an available cat. Learn precisely what’s required of you, then welcome one very needy and deserving animal into your home temporarily, until he or she can be placed in a permanent home.
 
12. Adopt a rescue cat and save two lives – the life of the one you’re adopting, and the life of the one immediately taking his or her place.
 
As for next year? Either continue working your way down this list, or resolve to draw up a list of you own.

by Nomi Berger
 
A cat diagnosed with Feline Leukemia (FeLV) is still an ADOPTABLE cat.
 
What, then, is FeLV?
 
FeLV is a virus that weakens a cat’s immune system, predisposing it to certain infections, severe anemia, and potentially leading to cancer. Most at risk are kittens born to FeLV positive mothers, cats under the age of one, cats living with an infected cat, and cats bitten by an infected cat if they’re allowed outside.
 
Although it is NOT transmittable to humans, dogs or other non-feline pets, before adopting a FeLV positive cat, ensure that you and your vet are “on the same page”. Whereas some vets warn against it, others are fully sympathetic and supportive of the idea. And these vets will be your best allies.
 
Of utmost importance, when adopting a FeLV positive cat, is to always keep that cat indoors -- whether as your only cat or with other FeLV positive cats. Immediate spaying will prevent a female from giving birth to infected kittens. Some cats can even fight off the virus and become immune to it. Others can be healthy carriers that never get sick themselves but can still infect others.   
 
While the disease CAN be managed, even going into remission, flare-ups are always a possibility. Most FeLV positive cats are likely to live a shorter life than other cats, and 85% of persistently infected felines will die within three years of diagnosis.
 
However, regular vet check-ups and good preventive health care can keep your cat feeling well for some time and protect it from secondary infections. Twice-yearly physical exams, lab tests and parasite control can both prevent complications and identify problems quickly. While there may be no cure for the virus itself, secondary infections can be treated promptly if and when they occur.
 
To help your FeLV positive cat live as healthily and normally as possible:
 
Feed your cat a balanced diet (no raw meat, eggs or non-pasteurized dairy products that can harbor bacteria and parasites and lead to infection), using only the highest quality food to provide your cat with all required and essential nutrients. Some vets also recommend adding daily doses of vitamins and antioxidants.
 
Remove all uneaten wet food within a half-hour to prevent the potential growth of harmful bacteria.
 
Ensure that your cat has easy access to a continuous supply of FRESH water.
 
Keep your cat’s purr-sonal “belongings” scrupulously clean, including food and water bowls, litter boxes and cat beds, blankets, towels and toys.
 
Because your cat may require more warmth than other cats, ensure that a comfy cozy place, equipped with a cat bed and blankets, is always nearby.
 
Maintain as stress free an environment as you can. Be alert to whatever frightens or agitates your cat, and if possible, eliminate it. Ask your family members and any visitors to speak in low voices when inside your home.
 
Check regularly for parasites, including fleas, ticks, ear mites and worms. Treat the offender promptly, but if there’s more than one culprit, treat each separately to avoid overtaxing your cat’s already delicate system.
 
Ask your vet for a list of physical and emotional changes vis-a-vis progression of the disease, and contact him/her immediately if you notice any of these changes in your cat.
 
And so, despite the fact that a FeLV positive cat may not use up all of its fabled nine lives, living a loved, pampered and protected one may be just what the vet ordered.
 

by Nomi Berger
 
Do you own a cat but want to rent an apartment or condo, town home or house?

If so, it’s vital that you’re fully informed before initiating this all-important process.
 
Why? Because too many cats are either abandoned or surrendered to animal shelters as a result of housing problems encountered by their owners.
 
It’s understandable that many landlords may be leery of renting their premises to cat owners. Some tenants are thoughtless and irresponsible, allowing their pets to damage property through destructive scratching or odoriferous spraying and/or disturb their neighbors because of such issues as poor litter box hygiene and neglectful maintenance, inappropriate disposal of soiled litter and hissing or mewling especially at night.
 
It’s therefore incumbent upon YOU to prove to prospective landlords that your cat is well mannered, fastidious and kept constructively occupied, and that renters like you will not only be respectful of their rental property but will illustrate, by your example, that most pet owners are both conscientious and trustworthy.
 
Since finding a rental property that welcomes pets may prove difficult, increase your chances of success by considering the following:
   • Allow as much time as possible for as thorough a search as possible.
   • Research all “animal-friendly” listings and all “animal-savvy” realtors by placing classified ads online.
   • Reach out to your neighbors and co-workers, friends and family, through networking sites and social media for an even
     broader range of potential rentals.
   • Stop by the supermarkets and drug stores in your area to pick up free publications of rental opportunities and visit such
     web sites as https://www.apartments.com and https://www.rent.com for even more listings.
 
Create a “feline resume” detailing your cat’s positive personality traits. Include several photos guaranteed to win hearts, list your cat’s favorite activities, food and treats, and a brief adoption story. You should also include a letter from the vet showing that your cat is spayed or neutered and up-to-date on vaccines and a letter of reference from your current or most recent landlord (if applicable).
 
While some landlords may advertise “no pets”, others may also be willing to make an exception -- particularly if they own pets or are pet lovers themselves. It’s worth making an inquiry over the phone and even inviting the more amenable ones to meet with you and your cat.
 
NEVER sign a lease that states, “no pets allowed” even if you happen to observe other pets on the premises. But most importantly, never accept the word of a realtor, manager or landlord that having one is “okay.” The only words that count are those WRITTEN in the lease. If the lease clearly states “no pets allowed”, ensure that it’s either crossed out or replaced with language approving your pet, and that all changes are initialed by both you and the landlord.
 
Any pet deposit or monthly fees should be specified in the lease, but before signing it, first discuss the matter with the landlord and/or renegotiate the amount.
 
Keep a signed copy of the lease with all of your other important documents where it can be readily retrieved if needed.
 
Then, once you and your purr-ecious kitty companion are happily ensconced in your new home, it remains your responsibility to reassure the landlord that he made the right choice in renting to you.

by Nomi Berger
 
“Every sixty seconds, an animal is abused.”
 
This is according to the ASPCA. And so, they have designated April as “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals” Month. They have also urged their supporters everywhere to “Go Orange for Animals” to increase public awareness.
 
The following are ways YOU can help.
 
START A FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN
 
Using your personal Facebook account, create an ASPCA fundraising page for an important event in your life and share it with friends and family. Whether you “donate” your birthday, honor the memory of a beloved pet or run a 5k with Team ASPCA, the money you raise will benefit needy animals nationwide.
 
SUPPORT A LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTER OR RESCUE GROUP
 
Drawing on your own, personal contacts, team up with a local shelter or rescue in sponsoring a ”Go Orange for Animals” event (wearing orange, of course). Whether it’s an adoption event or a donation drive, give them the proceeds and/or supplies you’ve collected, and know the difference you’re making is huge!
 
SHOW YOUR VIRTUAL SUPPORT
 
Spread the word about “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals” Month by posting on your social media networks using the hashtag #fightcruelty and tagging @aspca. Encourage your family and friends to follow the ASPCA on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.
 
BECOME AN ANIMAL ACTIVIST
 
Visit the ASPCA Advocacy Center online, join their Advocacy Brigade to receive emails about important animal welfare-related legislation, and learn how YOU can become a voice for the voiceless.
 
MAKE ADOPTION YOUR FIRST OPTION
 
Looking for the perfect fur friend for your family? Both shelters and rescue groups have loving dogs and cats of all breeds, ages and colors, desperate to find their own perfect families. By adopting, not shopping, you’re saving two lives: the life of the animal you adopt and the life of the animal taking its place.
 
How To Report Animal Cruelty
 
If you witness the act yourself, you can go to your local police commissioner and ask to swear out a warrant summoning the accused person to court.
 
Or you can find out precisely where to report the incident in your area. Then, either call or email them, providing a concise, factual statement of what you observed, including the date and approximate time of the abuse.
 
If possible, photograph the abusive situation and date your pictures.
 
If possible, gather brief, factual written statements from other witnesses.
 
If you have documents pertinent to your complaint, always make copies for your own records before giving them to anyone else.
 
If you call to report a case of animal cruelty, keep a record of the person you contact, the date, and the content and outcome of your discussion. Make it clear that you are interested in pursuing the case, and that you will help in any way you can.
 
If you don’t receive a response from the agent/officer assigned to your case within a reasonable length of time, follow up. Present your information to his/her supervisor and, if necessary, to local government officials, such as the county commissioner, and ask them to act.
 
Remember. If YOU don’t speak up, this abuse is likely to happen again.

by Nomi Berger
 
Alley Cat Rescue of Maryland has marked March 3rd as the start of the Feral Fix Challenge, an annual global event that brings together veterinarians and communities throughout the word in an effort to save the lives of feral cats.
 
The Challenge, currently in its 11th year, asks veterinarians to get involved with trap-neuter-return (TNR) by providing either low cost or free spay/neuters and rabies vaccinations for free roaming cats. Since its inception, over 130,000 cats have been spayed and neutered by more than 1,500 participating vets worldwide.
 
And because approximately 860,000 cats are euthanized in American shelters each year -- many of them newborn kittens or free roaming cats – the most successful way to lower this staggering statistic is to slow the breeding cycle among the feral cat population.
 
What, then, is TNR?
 
Trap-neuter-return (TNR) is a program through which feral (unsocialized to people) cats are humanely trapped, spayed and/or neutered, vaccinated and, when necessary, medically treated before being returned to their original outdoor locations where neighborhood caretakers provide them with regular food and shelter.
 
Should these spots be considered unsafe or otherwise inappropriate, however, many of the feral cats will be moved to rural and/or farmyard locations. Kittens still young enough to be socialized, and friendly, adult cats will typically be placed in foster homes, then eventually adopted into loving fur-ever homes as cherished kitty companions.
 
TNR has many advantages. It immediately stabilizes the size of the colony by eliminating new litters. The “nuisance” behaviors often associated with feral cats is dramatically reduced, including the yowling and fighting that come with mating activity and the odor of unneutered males spraying to mark their territory.
 
The returned colony also guards its “turf”, preventing intact cats from moving in and starting the vicious cycle of overpopulation and problem behaviors all over again, while in urban areas, these spayed and neutered cats continue to provide a natural form of rodent control. 
 
Another significant advantage of the program, when practiced on a large scale, is that it reduces the number of feral kittens and cats entering already overcrowded local shelters. This not only lowers the shelters’ euthanasia rates it increases the number of adoptions of cats already there. 
 
Endorsed by such well respected groups as the ASPCA, the American Humane Association and the Humane Society of the United States, TNR is considered to be the most humane, effective and financially sustainable method of controlling the growth of free roaming cat populations. Trying to “rescue” feral cats and place them in permanent homes is, quite simply, impossible, given their numbers and the futility of trying to socialize most of them.
 
On the other hand, “Trap and Remove”, the more traditional technique used by most Animal Control Services across the country, isn’t only ineffectual, it’s counter productive. If ALL of the cats aren’t caught, the unneutered males left behind will continue to breed until the colony’s previous population level is reached. Even more frustrating: if every cat IS removed, new intact ones – both female and male -- tend to move into the area and take advantage of the available food sources, and the entire breeding cycle begins again.
 
How can YOU help?
 
Alley Cat Rescue asks you to support and promote this global challenge by visiting
www.saveacat.org/the-feral-fix.html and asking them to send your vet an invitation to participate or for a sample invitation if you would rather approach your vet personally.
 
Vets can sign up for the 2021 Feral Fix Challenge and pledge to provide free or low cost spay/neuter services to as many free roaming cats as is feasible for their individual practices.
 
Alley Cat Rescue is a national nonprofit organization dedicated to the welfare of all cats: domestic and stray, abandoned and feral. For more information, visit www.saveacat.org.

by Nomi Berger
 
Like a prenuptial agreement, the aptly named “pet-nuptial” (pet custody) agreement can assist you in keeping your cherished feline companion should your current relationship end.
 
Whether you’re divorcing a spouse, breaking up with a partner or moving out on a roommate, if you’ve owned a cat together, gird yourself for a potential battle over the custody of that cat. The key to resolving this issue and being on the winning end of it is to have a “pet-nuptial” agreement already in place.
 
Since the law in most states regards pets not as family members but as personal property, protecting your rights requires foresight on your part. When you have a “pet-nuptial” agreement, a court – if it comes to that – will, in all likelihood, enforce it unless you live in one of a handful of states with pet custody laws. If so, the judge will, as in any child custody battle, make a decision based on the best interests of the disputed pet.
 
Without a pre-arranged agreement, you’ll have to prove why YOU’RE the one entitled to keep the cat rather than your spouse, partner or roommate. Are you able, then, to provide the answers to the following questions?
 
• Who actually adopted or purchased the cat in question? Have the necessary receipts, wherever possible.
• Did you or “the other party” have the cat before the start of your “arrangement?”
• Are there any children involved who are attached to this cat? If so, where will they be living?
• Who plays the greater role in feeding and playing with the cat?
• Who takes the cat to the veterinarian?
• Who pays the bills -- from food, toys, beds and other kitty essentials to veterinary expenses, medications, supplements and therapies if applicable?
• Does either party have a work schedule that prevents them from spending quality time with the cat?
• Which party has bonded with the cat, is the one she always follows around, always sleeps near, etc.?
• Has either party ever exhibited any cruelty towards your cat or any other animal?
 
To keep your pet dispute from ever going to court, consider using mediation or arbitration instead. This way you can hopefully work together and come to an amicable arrangement.
 
Another solution is an agreement that either provides for joint custody of your cat or for sole custody with the other party given “visitation rights.” Joint custody agreements are far from ideal since pets, like children, are often traumatized by the dissolution of a marriage or partnership. A custody agreement where your cat is shuttled back and forth between two homes seldom works satisfyingly for any party – particularly the cat.
 
If your spouse already had the cat before you got marred, it will be difficult for you to get custody of her because she’s not considered “marital property” but your spouse’s “separate property.”
 
And yet, in some cases, you may emerge victorious. Examples: if you spend the most time with your cat, you could get custody of her despite the fact that your spouse pays most of the vet bills. If children are involved, and you’re getting custody of them in one of the few states with pet custody laws, a judge will want the cat to remain with the children. In other states, custody could be split, with the children going to one parent and the cat going to the other.
 
Because pet custody is an evolving legal issue, consider hiring a family attorney to help you. Ensure that you have photos and videos of you and your cat sharing a series of bonding experiences. Ensure that you have witnesses eager to testify that YOU are her primary guardian and playmate. Ensure that you have records of or receipts for every purchase you’ve made towards her care and well being.
 
In short, if you have a cat and an intact marriage or partnership, put a “pet-nuptial” agreement in place NOW so that you’re protected should the relationship ever end.

by Nomi Berger
 
If you’re currently working from home, like millions of other cat owners, the success of this “new normal” – however long it lasts – will depend as much on you as on the personality of your particular pet.
 
Cats are, essentially and notoriously, creatures of habit. And while some may relish your sudden availability -- whether it’s to play with them, pet them or cuddle with them – others may find your presence disrupts the peace and calm of their daily routine. Examples: it might be more difficult for them to sleep and/or they might not want to “share” the sofa with you. But most importantly, being as sensitive as they are, they’re certain to pick up on your own anxiety and stress.
 
Vital to any solution is: being patient with yourself and your kitty, maintaining as much of a regular routine as possible, including her feeding schedule, your own household, eating and sleeping schedules, and enriching your time together through additional activities.
 
Consider these suggestions to ensure – or at least attempt to ensure – that your kitty keeps her paws to herself and off the keys of your computer until work time is over for the day and playtime can commence.
 
Tire her out early by establishing an exercise and activity regime BEFORE you begin to work. A few minutes of vigorous play with the help of an enticing feather wand or a dancing laser pointer followed by some high quality treats in a food puzzle are excellent ways to prime your kitty for a well-earned nap. A tired cat with a full tummy is a contented cat – one who hopefully won’t clamber all over you while you’re trying to both focus and be productive as you adjust to the newness of your own situation.
 
Take breaks from what you’re doing throughout the day to literally stretch and clear your head. And while you’re relaxing, what more pleasant way to enhance that down time than by incorporating your cat into it? Make room for some mutually satisfying snuggles and play with her for a few minutes before resuming your work.
 
During important calls, distract and occupy her by using anything from automated toys and, once again, treat-filled food puzzles to cardboard boxes wadded with tissue paper and sprinkled with treats. Move a chair, a cat tree or a cat condo to a different window and allow her an entirely new view of the world outside, capturing and holding her interest for as long as – or even longer than -- those calls may take.
 
Offer her an especially cozy and comfortable alternative to both you and your computer. Place a heated cat bed on a chair near your desk (place one in a corner of your desk if it’s large enough), thereby providing her with a highly desirable spot to lie instead of against the back of your neck, on your shoulder or across the keyboard. If you don’t have a heated cat bed, plump up a fluffy blanket on a tall, cleared off shelf nearby, line it with several of her favorite toys and let her watch you work from “on high.”
 
Never reward any behaviors you don’t want continued. If your cat meows or yowls at you and you “talk back”, pet her or even shout at her, that could be exactly the response – and attention – she wants. And that’s a mistake! Reward good behaviors – calmness, quiet and compliance -- with high quality treats and/or praise.
 
As a last resort, close the door of the room in which you’re working, but be prepared for a kitty protest. If your cat starts scratching at the door, ignore her, and if necessary, place a simple deterrent like a piece of cardboard with sticky tape on it right outside the door. This will make it highly unpleasant for her to continue her protest within earshot of you.
 
During these unprecedented times, when social distancing is, itself, the “new normal”, hopefully you can find comfort in the reassuring presence of your BFF – beloved feline friend.

by Nomi Berger
 
Confronting the global pandemic and how it’s affected our daily lives is being compounded by the challenge of separating fact from fiction. Whether you’re now working from home, self-isolating or even ill with COVID-19, here’s what you should know about the novel coronavirus and your cherished kitties.
 
According to the experts, you CANNOT catch COVID-19 from your cats nor can you give it to them. The web site of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states: “At this time, there is no evidence that companion animals, including cats, can spread COVID-19.” One caveat: until more is known about this particular virus.
 
According to a vet with the American Veterinary Medical Association, there have been no cases of cats testing positive for or showing signs of the disease. And although there is a coronavirus specific to cats, it isn’t contagious to humans.
 
Are you self-isolating and symptom-free? Some authorities suggest stocking up on two weeks worth of food, medications, paper products and sanitizing supplies for yourself and the same amount of food, cat litter and other items for your kitty. Other crisis response experts, however, urge stocking up on at least a month’s worth for both of you. Why? Not only because of the unfortunate reality of hoarding and empty store shelves, but the possibility of your exhibiting symptoms only towards the end of your self-isolation.
 
If, however, you’re sick with COVID-19, you should restrict contact with your cat just as you should restrict contact with every other member of your household. Avoid petting and snuggling your cat, being kissed or licked by her, and sharing your food with her. Wash your hands before and after you interact with her and wear a facemask.
 
Why? If you sneeze or cough on your cat and someone in your home pets her, that person could potentially pick up the infection. While the CDC hasn’t YET recorded any cases of this happening, they still recommend exercising an abundance of caution. When in doubt, have a healthy person in your household be your cat’s primary caregiver temporarily (if you live alone, ask a family member or reliable friend to act on your behalf). Being sick is NO reason to either surrender or abandon her!
 
If you’re ill and your cat has a non-urgent, wellness appointment with the vet, call your vet, explain the situation and reschedule your appointment. Even if you’re not ill, err on the side of caution, and call your vet to reschedule the visit anyway. If, on the other hand, you’re ill, quarantined, and your cat needs urgent veterinary care, contact your vet and your public health officials so that she can receive the attention she requires (this is where your kitty’s temporary guardian comes in) while you remain in quarantine.
 
For more information on this continually evolving situation, visit the Centers for Disease Control web site at: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/whats-new-all.html

by Nomi Berger
 
When your cherished cat companion dies, the process of grieving the love you’ve lost is painfully similar to the process of grieving the loss of a beloved family member or friend.
 
According to the longstanding Kubler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately, acceptance.
 
Denial, like the other stages of grief, is different for everyone, and you may even skip it completely. While you’ll eventually come to terms with losing your cat, denying that loss at first is perfectly normal.
 
You may feel angry at your cat for dying. You may feel angry at yourself, at a disease or at the world in general. This too is normal. HOW you react to your anger is what’s important. It can range from screaming into your pillow, crying or writing down your emotions to going for long runs, working out at the gym or cleaning your home. Whatever the outlet, its purpose is to allow your mind and body time to process your anger.
 
The key is not staying angry too long. Although nothing can change what’s happened, remind yourself that you’re simply grieving and that being angry is a part of the grieving process. Perhaps the most painful fact to face, however, is that there truly is no time limit to grief.
 
Bargaining, being the third stage, is when you try to figure out what you could have done differently to prevent your cat’s death. Expressed through such phrases as “if only” and “what if”, it’s also a desperate attempt to try and avoid the grief through a kind of negotiation with a higher power -- if you change this, I’ll change that -- to bring back your cat.
 
Depression, as the fourth stage of grief, is characterized by such expressions of sadness as endlessly crying or crying in spurts, sleeping a great deal, not wanting to eat or participate in any of your usual activities, feeling especially lonely and utterly desolate. Honor these emotions, yet find solace in knowing that they’ll be easier to manage as time passes, that they’ll dissipate slowly but surely, and that you won’t feel this depressed forever.
 
It may take time, but acceptance, the fifth and final stage in the grieving process, is coming to terms with and adjusting to life without your beloved cat. Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting, nor should it be seen as an act of betrayal. On the contrary, acceptance means celebrating the sweet and unique life your cat lived and acknowledging the fact that no other cat can replace the one you’ve lost. At this point, remembering can finally bring smiles instead of tears.
 
If you’re uncertain about how to process your own grief, consider the following:
• Read the magnificent poem “The Rainbow Bridge,” and let the waves of grief wash over you and cleanse you.
• Surround yourself with people who knew and loved your cat and share all of your feelings together.
• If you have other pets, spend more quality time with them. Pets, like people, also grieve the loss of their playmates.
• Put together a photo album, scrapbook or shadow box as a way of reminding you of the happy times you and your cat shared together.
• Redirect your attention and focus by doing those things you enjoy most.
• Go online to a forum or support group for people who are experiencing the loss of their own pets.
• See a grief counselor or therapist because talk therapy is a powerful tool and, in many cases, vital to your personal healing.
• Consider getting a new cat some day. Never meant as a replacement for the one who died, a new cat may help fill the current emptiness in your heart.